The Instinctive Guide To Human Psychology

by Richard Cummings

Understanding people is a consistent contest for me. I like to do all of my writing in a local Starbucks coffee shop; great wi-fi and there are always people around to judge. I love people; I enjoy their differences and quirks. I guess that is one reason I earned a Masters in Clinical Social Work. However, after 20 years of experience and a very dysfunctional difficult divorce, I had to change careers. Besides, I found out early on, we so-called “professionals” who assume to know about people soon learn we can’t change, not unless we want to.

I would describe myself as being a quiet individual who sits at the same place each day in Starbucks and is typing on his computer, sometimes looking up to taking a quick look around at others, using my instinct to judge a person, gather some thoughts to write about and move on to writing more. I don’t stand out as far as wearing up-to-date fashion clothes, in fact, my wardrobe comprises two outfits and a short haircut and beard. Women don’t want to talk to me and honestly, I would rather not talk to them; I have this “I am a divorced man” expression on my face. Maybe it’s the Metallica, Master Of Puppets song I am enjoying on my headphones.

I have been divorced going on 12 or 13 years now, having tried all the online dating sites, mostly out of curiosity the last year, with really no success. One friend, my age, just got re-married yesterday. I feel sorry for him but I told him he looked happy to make him feel good. The reality is he was a person whom, according to him, wasn’t designed to live alone. My other friend, retired, just returned recently from Thailand two days ago. He is not a real people person, like me, but more distrustful of people. He surprised me when he told me he didn’t get involved in the nightlife and mainly stayed safe in his hotel room at night. If I had traveled there, I would of least hung out in a bar at night so I would not feel lonely. My thing is I don’t need to get remarried, a good friend or friends will do for me.

Recently I have been watching U-Tube programs on the Vietnam war. I seem to have this fascination for these men who, not willingly, were dumped in a war where we should not have been, and lost. These guys, medals or not, we’re all survivors and heroes, especially the thousands of dead. This was a period of time where Americans were trying to redefine who we were and what our purpose on this earth was. You want to know and understand change; it was during periods of war, just like this one, which changed us. It changed the way we believed in God and Satan, even redefined our way of living, lifestyles, down to the way we viewed and trusted each other. Unfortunately, only the baby boomers and those that fought in the earlier world wars would understand. Millennials are left only to hear about this history, not understand it. It is too much to expect them to understand.

Many lessons about life, who we are, why people act the way they do, make the decisions we do, are a result of history. History is filled with lessons from the mistakes we made, and the successful times and difficult times. No one should tell about the decisions we make, or how we should judge others. This is your life, my life, and no one gave us a golden pass to judge others. As humans, we came from a cellular organism or a God; we exist for a temporary period until we succumb to dark matter or heaven and hell. Let’s keep in mind we are temporary, maybe that will change the way we act towards each other.

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Richard Cummings

Richard Cummings

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Masters in Social Work/Washington University of St. Louis, research, writing about mental illnesses, Grief,PTSD, Relationships, Abuse. Freelance Writer